how i met my wife

10.25.2003

i was standing at the end of the bar at the black dog
waiting to see an (acoustic!) goodwin show
(matt learned how to play all the songs on guitar
in the alley out back five minutes before they hit)
when she approached me and said she was promoting
a benefit at the wreck room for a local disabled athlete
who was trying to get to the paralympics.
she handed me a big packet of stuff and said
she'd like to talk to me about it for a few minutes
when i wasn't too busy.

after she walked away, it occurred to me
that i wasn't doing anything at that very moment
and so i walked over to where she was sitting
and asked if she wanted to talk right now.
we went outside and when i suggested
that we could sit down on the stoop, she asked,
"you're not from around here, are you?"

later on, she suggested that we meet at the hideaway
because she lived around the corner from there
and i figured it was the nicest blow-off line
i'd ever heard. i'd go sit at the bar
and drink a couple of beers with brian sharp
and then go home. but she showed up.

that night i laid pretty much every card on the table
that i figured would be a deal-breaker.
(after my last girlfriend i'd done stuff i was ashamed
of while i was doing it in service of not being alone,
until i decided that i was perfectly alright by myself.)
she accepted me anyway, and in the fullness of time,
she made me want to divest myself
of all my self-defeating behavior
and be something more like
the man i want to be.