for carter albrecht

when your neighbor's boyfriend goes apeshit
and tries to kick your door in,
what should you do?

here's a hint: call 911. then sit back
and, if you must, cap him
when he crosses your threshold.

don't shoot into the door and say later
that you were trying to aim over his head.
man was six foot five.

i assume that means that
there were no neighbors upstairs
to accidentally catch a stray through the floor.

fuck that "guns don't kill people" bullshit:
it's what they're designed to do
and they work whether or not you intend them to.