recipe for fried rice

this highly, um, westernized version is the one my dear old grey-haired moms fixed us when i was a snotnose and the same one i served my kids. after my heart attack scare last year, i gave up eating bacon, but my middle dtr enjoys this so well that she requested (and i of course agreed) that i fix this for her berfday in a coupla wks. there's nothing exotically asiatic about this -- it's _po' people food_ -- but you can add to it any odd animal or vegetable matter you have sitting in the refrigerator with decent results. if you're in a "hawaiian" frame of mind, substitute spam for the bacon. (because both of my parents are hawaiian-born, i was raised to think of the gelatinous meat-like substance as "food." still do.)

1 cup of cooked rice (this recipe is, of course, expandable)
3 or 4 slices of bacon
3 or 4 scallions (that's green onions, like booker t.)
2 eggs (i remove the yolk from one in a half-assed attempt at heart-healthiness)
soy sauce

slice the bacon in 1-inch sections. chop the scallions not-_too_-fine. start the bacon in a cold pan and fry until crispy. drain on paper towels and pour the grease into a coffee can. (the one that perpetually sat on the stove in my various apartments was a source of mute horror to my children for yrs.) combine the bacon bits and scallions over medium heat. break up the massive clump of rice (you _did_ refrigerate it, didn't you?) with a wooden spoon or spatula, then add the rice to the pan. splash on soy sauce (not too much!) and mix the ingredients well, flattening them out to maximize heat absorption. add the eggs; break the yolk before you start mixing it with the rice. keep stirring; the goal is to coat all the rice with egg before the egg starts to solidify. don't leave it runny, but don't let it burn, either. serve with hot green tea (or coca-cola if children are involved).