old man bar

it was in places like this
that i learned how to be a man
watching the old hard-ons
that worked in the mill up the street
sit down and put their feet on a rail
and drink boilermakers
attending very closely to
the things they talked about
and the way they carried themselves
holding themselves in check
when the bartender (matt or michael)
would announce, on those rare occasions
when there were women in the bar,
"fellas, show these ladies
that this is a _gentleman's bar_"
(meaning, of course, that
you weren't supposed to say "fuck").
they were gregarious and demonstrative
(much more so than i felt comfortable with,
given the quiet and inward way i was raised)
and would put up their fists
when angry or drunk (usually both),
but never ever dream of
punishing those closest to them
with silence and withdrawal.