Saturday, July 25, 2009

the things ppl do for minimum wage

1) once i stopped at the barnes & noble downtown because i was late for a graduation party and needed to buy a present for the graduate. when i asked the black-clad slacker-clerk behind the counter if i could borrow a pen to inscribe it and explained why, she said, "yes, sir. barnes & noble is just great for those last-minute gifts." i wanted to tell her, "no-o-o! don't say that! it's your _soul_ you're giving up!"

2) my sweetie once spent a _very_ brief period working for the olive garden. (she'd been making bank cocktailing at j.r. bentley's in arlington, and needed something closer to home in the fort.) she lasted three days. the straw that broke the camel's back was the phrase "hospitaliano," which was supposed to be inserted into the server's patter with the customers. personally, i can't think of a context where that would be appropriate. when she quit, the manager mistakenly thought she was trawling for a raise/promotion. HA!

3) when ron geida was in high school back in springfield, mass., he worked for burger king. they had a competition called "the burger king all-stars," and ron's manager wanted him to participate, on the, um, chicken sandwich team. when ron said he wasn't interested, the manager responded, "whatsamatter, ron -- are you _too cool to be a burger king all-star_?" when we used to play together, i suggested calling the band "ron geida & the burger king all-stars." ron was not amused.

4) when my middle dtr had a horrible telemarketing job after high school, she said they used to have "power hours," when all the telemarketers were supposed to make all their calls standing up. i figured it was to keep them from falling asleep in the chair. (i once knew a woman who'd worked as a phone operator and said they had to stand up _all the time_.) it reminded me of when my rabbi from radioshack was moonlighting at the home depot and they usedta have "alley rallies" at the beginning of a shift. gawd, how i absolutely lurrrve stuff like that.


Post a Comment

<< Home